Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Jessica Simpson...Slutty Brownies are yummy! Fashion Star host waddles onto Tonight Show Stage!

A very pregnant Jessica Simpson waddled out from behind the curtain last night on the tonight show to chat up an effervescent Jay Leno who was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Normally, I chastise oversized gals whenever they slip into wild "jungle prints", especially when the bold patterns draw attention to their sloppy less-than tip-top shapes.

But, under the circumstances - since Simpson is "with child" - I am inclined to look the other way.

Even still, I wondered aloud about her decision to wobble around the city earlier in the day in six-inch heels.

Was she hoping she'd break her "water" and force an early birth?

Meanwhile, her ubiquitous "naked" spread on the cover of a National Magazine (Elle) on newsstands everywhere, has left a lot to be desired folks.

So, Demi Moore, don't 'ya think?

I expect that Ms. Simpson's handlers were in a panic backstage, too, when Jessie spouted off on a number of touchy subjects live without benefit of prerecorded taping (to safeguard).

For example, when Leno - grinning from ear-to-ear (as usual) - quizzed her about a nickname she was christened with recently on the "Fashion Star" set (she's hosting the new reality style-show currently being panned by most legit critics around the country) she uttered up a few choice quips that would make a truck driver blush.


Allegedly, one of the designers (John Varvatos) referred to her as "swamp ass".

Why, pray tell?

"It was like the Bayou up there," Simpson quipped, without blinking a pretty eyelash, as she referred to her "crotch" below a large protruding belly.

"Very humid," she blurted out to an embarrassed Jay (who was taken aback somewhat).

"Ah, that's a little more information that I need," he managed to mustered up in response, as his face went beet red for a second or two.

But, old potty-mouth didn't quit there.

When asked if she had any unusual cravings - because of her pregnancy - she was quick on the uptake (natch).

"Slutty Brownies," she belted out, without a hint of decorum.

Talk about "pregnant pauses"!

Folks in the audience hooted and hollered, though.

Once Jay regained his composure, he pressed on, to determine how it was that Simpson came up with the "delightful" name for the curious dessert.

"Well, a lot goes into it," she giggled suggestively.

About 9 inches, I expect!

Anyhoo, according to Ms. Simpson, a slutty brownie is packed chock-full of three main ingredients:

*Cookie Dough
*Brownie Dough


The segment went downhill from there.

It was time to tuck in for the night.

I managed to conjure up a slew of pleasant dreams, nonetheless.

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