Wednesday, February 1, 2012
David Letterman...Brad Pitt pitiful saga drags on! Comic coughs up cab fare!
Oh, the sh** hit the fan last night on David Letterman.
Yeah, the bitch fight between Brad Pitt and the late night talk-show host revved up once again.
Tattler readers may recall that I reported yesterday about the on-going saga - high drama! - unfolding over the pretty boy actor's reluctance to trot out and plunk himself down in the "hot seat" to be interviewed by Dave.
Dave took the spat one level higher and fumed that it just wasn't right.
"After all, we had that Jonah kid (Brad's co-star) on the show, and we've been promoting the heck out of his movie Moneyball. If it wins an Oscar, it may be because of us. The least he could do is stop by," Dave griped in so many words.
According to Dave, he'll get his just desserts, though.
There was a silver lining, after all, chuckled Dave.
"Actors are superstitious. Now, if Pitt loses the Oscar, he'll always have to wonder in the back of his mind if it's because he didn't appear on this show."
The tricky task of booking the sexy thespian on the Late Show has been like pulling teeth for Dave, apparently.
Worse than having a root canal!
"Every day, for the past thirty years, we've called up his handlers and invited Brad on. Some guy picks up the phone, and he turns to Pitt, and he says - "it's that (Dave cups his hand over his mouth as he audibly whispers a**hole) Letterman guy asking if you'll come on the show" - he kidded to his cohort, Paul Shaffer, as the audience giggled below the footlights.
At this juncture, Dave noted he unleashed his expert research staff that very day, to get to the bottom of it.
Sure enough, apparently a few years ago - in 2005, to be precise - the Daily News reported that Dave made jokes about teaching his son how to interview Brad's sultry better-half "Angelina Jolie".
It was one of those eureka moments!
So, that was it! He's insulted Brad's wife unwittingly.
"I apologize, Brad," Dave cried into the camera, with as much sincerity as he could muster up under the circumstances.
To show what a gentleman he was, Dave reached for his fat (um) wallet, pulled out a handful of crisp bills, then, proceeded to plunk 'em down on the desk for all to see.
"This is for you, Brad," he chortled with glee.
Letterman then proceeded to invite Brad to stop by the studio the next day (with his better half) so that he could apologize in person.
The audience roared!
Throughout the rest of the night, Dave continued to run with the gag, understandably.
In fact, at one juncture, he slipped the money into a manila envelope and scribbled the hunky actor's name on its face.
"Paul, is that one "T" or two "T's"?"
"Two," Shaffer hollered back, with a chuckle.
The task completed, Letterman proceeded to tape the envelope on the front of his desk.
"Here it is Brad!"
Brad, I hate to see a grown man cry.
Kiss and make up, eh?
News at 11!