Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Insect stings...could put your face out of commission for days!

Okay! Okay! Okay!

I admit.

For the past couple of days I have been skulking about the city, hiding behind dark glasses, and looking down at the pavement when other pedestrians have strolled by.

For good reason.

The other morning at the crack-of -dawn, when I awoke from a deep sleep, I was startled to find that I was having difficulty opening my eyes!

The cobwebs of sleep were apparently clinging longer than usual.

Or, just maybe, there was another culprit?

I stumbled out of bed and dashed to the mirror to take a gander at the image staring back at me.


Both of my eyelids were swollen beyond belief and both eyes were mere slits.

I looked like I had been hit by a two-ton truck.

After close examination, I spied a small "sting-like" prick at the top of one eye - at which point - it became evident that during the night an  insect or spider had bitten me while I was deep asleep.


Just the thought of an insect crawling across my face (while I was deep in slumber) was enough to make me throw-up.

But, worse than that, I had to contend with the impact of the nasty sting.

I immediately grabbed an ice pack - and quickly applied it - in a bold-faced attempt to reduce the swelling as quickly as possible.

But, the process was slow and upsetting!

Obviously, it  would take a good day or two for the swelling to go down.

Needless to say, I faced a second dilemma.

How to dash out and conduct a few chores around town without anyone catching sight of my battered-up mug!

I tell 'ya, it's difficult to avert a cashier's eyes when you're paying for purchases at the local pharmacy.

And, tougher still, to hide your face when you're in the midst of a one-on-one transaction with a clerk at a local financial institution.

If you act too suspicious, the tellers may jump to the conclusion that you're out to rob the bank!

Last night when I strolled it to a local restaurant to snap up some chicken and fries to go, it was damn-near impossible to hide the obvious, especially when everyone in the joint started to whisper:

"Do you know who that is?"

For the record?

No, I wasn't battered by a spouse.

And, I promise you, I wasn't coming down off a drunk.

I didn't even accidentally fall down and go boom (or walk into a door like most claim).

Some little bugger just bit me, that's all, folks!

So, how was your day?

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